The President's second term. Different mountain, same speech.
Fresh off his acclaimed presidency of the Vail Haters Club, Chip Drapeau has claimed a second title — because out East, where he actually skis, his true nemesis waits: Loon Mountain, two hours from Boston and, on a Saturday, roughly two hours from its own parking lot. These are the chapter's grievances. The bird, it must be said, is innocent.
The Chair Recognizes — Both Coasts
President, East Coast Chapter · Founder & Chief Grievance Officer
Every empire expands. When Scott Bishop built his friend a clubhouse in Colorado, Chip reviewed the Vail site, pronounced it “really funny,” admitted he was “a little afraid of what you and AI can do together” — and then, in the same breath, filed the paperwork for a second presidency: “By the way, for East Coast skiers, I'm also president of the Loon Haters Club.”
It checks out. Vail is Chip's grievance in the abstract — a mountain he refuses on principle. Loon is personal. This is the home turf: New Hampshire granite, White Mountain weather, and the resort that greater Boston treats as its own backyard. Chip has stood in the four-person gondola line. Chip has circled the lot. Chip has done 3 mph on the Kancamagus Highway and composed speeches at a pace the traffic could keep up with. The East Coast Chapter exists so those speeches, too, have a permanent home.
The President can be reached, professionally and otherwise, on LinkedIn, where his East Coast stump speech is presumably in someone's inbox right now.
The chapter wishes it noted that its President is wildly overqualified to hold grudges against ski mountains on two coasts. Per his LinkedIn:
A Matter of Diplomacy
When the chapter went to register its name, it made a discovery worthy of the mountain itself: the name was taken — by a Loon Haters Club that got there first, founded in 2025, with stickers, an Instagram, and grievances already on file. Chip Drapeau, arriving at the exact same joke independently, salutes them. This page is a separate club. Confusing the two is easy; the chapter has prepared a treaty.
In their own words, “a real organization” whose goal is to unite the skiing community around “our hatred of Loon Mountain Resort.” They are — and the chapter cannot stress this enough — enthusiastically pro-bird: the hate is for the resort, never the Common Loon. They hand out stickers in person, and their founding grievances are already on the record:
“There are many reasons to hate Loon, from the 8 pack lift that accesses barely any terrain to their terrible traffic management policies that clog up the Kanc.”
Visit them, follow them, request a sticker: loonhatersclub.com. The chapter uses none of their artwork and claims none of their members. Their turf is the .com; this chapter flies the .org.
A one-president splinter movement, chartered October 2026, unaffiliated with the club above in every way except outlook. Where the originals organize, this chapter presides. Where they print stickers, this chapter publishes evidence files and holds polls of one.
Points of full agreement between the two clubs, ratified without a single meeting: the bird is innocent; the 8-pack accesses barely any terrain; the Kanc is clogged; and a Saturday at Loon is Boston's worst-kept secret. On everything else, each club speaks only for itself — and its President speaks only when the gondola line gives him time, which is often.
Both clubs agree the schism is, diplomatically, the most Loon outcome possible: even the opposition has a capacity problem.
The Evidence File
Scott predicted there wouldn't be as many real complaints about Loon as there are about Vail. The chapter's research department regrets to inform him that New Englanders complain the way they ski — on ice, at speed, and in writing.
The Kancamagus 8 is the East's first eight-person bubble chair — heated seats, a soaring glass terminal, the full flagship treatment. It is also, per the other Loon Haters Club's founding documents, “the 8 pack lift that accesses barely any terrain.” Reviewers at PeakRankings add the operational footnote: the chair “theoretically offers the highest uphill capacity of any lift at Loon, but even after running it for a few seasons, the resort still hasn't effectively figured out how to load eight people on a lift at a time” — so it runs below capacity while the maze fills beneath it.
Eight seats. Heated. Going to the mid-mountain. The President rests his case and his sit bones.
Sources: Loon Haters Club (the original), FAQ · PeakRankings, Loon review · Photo: Loon Mountain.
Loon is the closest Ikon Pass mountain to Boston — about two hours without traffic, a phrase that does a great deal of work in that sentence. Its gondola carries just four passengers per cabin, where gondolas at essentially every other resort in North America fit six to ten. PeakRankings' verdict: the line forms even on off-peak weekdays, “a notorious rarity for the Northeast,” and inside, the “comically tiny cabins” ensure you will make friends, whether or not you wanted any.
“It is unskiable on weekends… I cringe soon as I get off the exit.”
Sources: PeakRankings · OnTheSnow reviews
Before the gondola line, before the Kanc 8 maze, there is the lot — and the lot has terms. Veteran advice is to arrive by 7:30 a.m.; one trip report records that by 7:45 on a Saturday “most of the main lot was already full,” and once Loon reaches capacity, arriving guests can be turned away entirely. And should you escape at day's end, the Kancamagus Highway awaits: one October driver logged over an hour to cover maybe four miles, at around 3 mph, on the region's celebrated scenic byway. Scenic, at that speed, for a very long time.
“Need to get there early to get parking… suggest packing lunch and tailgating it.”
Sources: Seven Seas & Winter Trees, Loon trip report · AARoads forum, NH 112 thread
Dispatches from the Field
The chapter's research department (Chip, a phone, and a Saturday he is still not over) monitors the reviews and the ski press. Verbatim dispatches from the Granite State front:
“Loon's gondola already sees heavy demand — but unlike gondolas at essentially every other ski resort in North America, which can fit six to ten people, Loon's cabins can only fit four guests each, substantially compounding the issue. This lift even sees lines on off-peak weekdays, a notorious rarity for the Northeast.”
Read the full audit at PeakRankings.
“One of New Hampshire's Most Popular Ski Resorts Has a Major Weekend Problem.”
A headline that doubles as the chapter's founding charter. Read it — the problem is the gondola, the crowds, and the calendar.
“What's best about Loon is what's most challenging too: Remarkably easy access means some pretty impressive crowds on weekends.”
Even the defense exhibits concede the crowds. Via SKI Magazine.
“Ah, Loon. This is one mountain that people love to complain about… They tell me the terrain is mid, it's crowded, that there are better options in New Hampshire, and it's not worth my time… When it comes to Loon, they're being serious.”
From “Does Loon Really Suck? I Found Out So You Don't Have To” — the chapter thanks them for their service.
“Loon's got great variety and their snowmaking is top notch, but their food is expensive and parking gets filled quickly.”
Even the five-star-adjacent reviews file the same two complaints. Full reviews on OnTheSnow.
Loon's answer to all of this is a fourth peak — and the expansion is currently in federal environmental review, with the Forest Service accepting public comments through October 23, 2026. That is today. The chapter notes that the mountain's growth plan has a comment period; the gondola line, as ever, has a wait.
Background via Unofficial Networks.
The wire never sleeps: the OnTheSnow review file and the AlpineZone Loon threads supply a fresh grievance every powder day — which, this being New Hampshire, the chapter acknowledges may take a while.
Fair & Balanced, Reluctantly
Chapter bylaws require airtime for the defense. Scott Bishop — builder of this site and of the western headquarters, best friend of the (twice-)President — files his rebuttal from the second clubhouse in a week:
That's the opening argument, and the President hates that it's a good one. Three peaks, 2,100 feet of vertical, 61 trails — the biggest skiing this close to a major city in New England, close enough that a Bostonian can decide over coffee and be on snow by lunch. The crowds aren't a mystery or a scandal; they're geometry. Everybody in the evidence file drove there for the same reason Chip does.
Read the prosecution's own exhibits: “lines on off-peak weekdays” are a rarity — meaning the mountain is gloriously empty when it counts. Ski it Tuesday, lap the Kanc 8's heated seats, find South Peak quiet and North Peak groomed within an inch of its life, and Loon is what its fans say it is: the best-run day trip in the East. The club calls this cherry-picking. The defense calls it a calendar — the same calendar, it notes, that acquitted Vail.
Conceded — with an asterisk the size of Mount Washington, visible from Upper Walking Boss on a clear day. The cabins are tiny. The line is real. The defense simply notes that the resort is actively planning to replace the gondola with a higher-capacity system, which is more than can be said for the President's position, unchanged since the Ford administration of lift design.
Two clubs, two mountains, one argument — and both sides agree the argument is the tradition. Scott will keep booking the trips, Chip will keep delivering the speeches, east and west, and somewhere around the Lincoln exit they will both be laughing too hard to remember who's winning. The bird, on this if nothing else, has no comment.
Membership · East Coast Chapter
Dues are $0, because your money is spoken for by a pass with blackout dates. Chapter membership is automatic the moment you nod along to any of the following:
One vote per visit, counted on the honor system — this chapter keeps no records, unlike a certain comment file at the Forest Service. Chip votes early and often.
The card below is for show. This form is the actual chapter roll. Sign up and the club (meaning Scott, the Loyal Opposition, who checks the list) will know you stood with the East Coast Chapter: great skiing, wrong mountain, innocent bird.
Valid at neither Loon Haters Club. Honored in Lincoln only as a conversation starter. Extremely official.
Bearer is entitled to one (1) stump speech per gondola cabin — all four seats' worth — and unlimited commentary on the Kanc. The bird is innocent. Approved by the President, who also wrote this card.